Cognitive Distortions

It is very easy to let the mind wonder and get caught up in anxious thoughts. The unknown is scary and we like knowing what to expect but things are getting harder and harder to predict. I am learning to let go and embrace the unknown, which has been freeing in a way. 

In my therapy this year, I have learned more about all the different kinds of cognitive distortions and recognized several from the past. It is crazy to think about sometimes what all I have believed in the past and how different my views are now, the more I learn about myself and the world. The more I started to learn about them, I found myself writing out the difference between them all to help me remember and stay aware. I do not always have the energy to combat my thoughts and will sometimes backtrack but awareness is key and habits are hard to break. 

If you are used to always being right you might view your opinions more as facts and be more prone to jumping to conclusions about how others feel or why they do things. If you are filtering then you are only seeing things through a lens, often negative, though if you are thinking in extremes that is polarized thinking. With that form of thinking, you have a tendency to overgeneralize by using words like never, always, everything, nothing. It helps to combat these by challenging absolutes.

If you have a severe case, you might more often find yourself global labeling by defining yourself or others after one event. There are two other kinds of overgeneralizations- personalization where you make yourself feel responsible for things outside of your control, and catastrophizing where you immediately jump to the worst-case scenario in every situation, no matter how unlikely.

If you have a fallacy of change you might expect everyone to change except for you, not to be confused with blaming which is holding other people responsible instead of ourselves, but not to change. There are three other fallacies; when you believe you have either all or no control at all over a situation is a control fallacy, for heavens reward fallacy you expect that all your sacrifices to pay off, and lastly is a fairness fallacy assuming that all behaviors and situations in life are applied to the same level or fairness you believe. Similarly, are ‘should’s’, or rules set for yourself and others to behave which can cause distress when others do not follow.

You might expect others to follow the same "code" as you and react the same way, not realizing that everyone did not grow up as you did. If someone grew up in an abusive household, then someone breaking a rule can make them feel a certain type of way, and, if are not careful, you could fall victim to emotional reasoning or believing everything you are feeling is fact. Like if you start feeling guilty and then believe you must be guilty. Your feelings might be valid but they might not be based in reality or clearly describe the situation so you have to monitor your thoughts, and feelings associated, with mindfulness. I try to counteract and challenge thoughts and beliefs like a friend would.

 

I wouldn't talk to a friend the way I talk to myself

(I'm turning my life to hell)

See the voice in my head really needs some help

(I figure I might as well)

"Talk To A Friend" by Rain City Drive/Slaves