Cats and Being Still

Why is it so hard for us as humans to be still? Before I got on medication, I found myself learning about meditation and I realized why so many have a hard time with it. Your mind is constantly going. Which having a steady stream of consciousness is normal but sometimes, if you have a brain like mine, it will overwhelm you with so many things coming at you at all once. One thing will remind you of this other thing that will spark a whole new idea and then you are in a totally different area of town and you have no idea how you got there. I am finding it harder and harder to multitask because I feel like for too long, I pushed myself to do too many things all at once and I cannot do that anymore. Rushing interferes with the quality of what I produce so I start to make more mistakes. I still have to remind myself to slow down because we are human beings, not machines.

I think much of our hustle culture is pushed by companies for the sake of the all-mighty dollar because time is money, right? The more they push us to spend our money, the richer they get and can produce more so they can make more. No one wants to make less money once they start making more. The goal of Corporate America is profit so they want your money and will do whatever it is to make a profit and I think we often lose sight of what really matters. We continue to bend over backwards for sales today, many times to the detriment of the employees. If you have ever been hounded by a sales person trying to push a sale on you and they make you feel like you need to buy now or else lose out on this great deal! The more urgency someone places on something the more I get suspicious and question it.

Buying a plane ticket is like a game itself because you don’t want to get it too early or else the price might go down and plans might change but if you get it too late then you risk the price going up and getting sold out. It almost seems like they want you to make an impulse purchase to get the ticket just to have plans change, like they do, and surprise you when you find its non-refundable and non-transferable. I feel like sometimes in many markets the push for impulse buying is so you will make a stupid decision and they get richer for it. They often change their rules and what they cover so it almost feels like you have to work harder to outsmart them at their own game, which is unfortunate. I would rather go on a road trip than fly, honestly. Though flying to a far place outside the US sounds nice.. Now I am extra careful before buying anything and it takes me forever to finally buy something sometimes. The more we want convenience the more we will pay, not always in money.

I have made a promise to myself to be more intentional this year and I think I have started to lay the ground work for setting up myself for success. I have been more strategic with my time and to block time on my calendar to do certain tasks and that has helped a lot. Or doing certain tasks at certain parts of the day that is best suited for that task. I have learned to combat my thoughts and calm my brain a lot better now but I still find myself coming back to meditation when I start to get caught up in the hustle. I now realize that it is less about controlling your thoughts (because that’s impossible) and more about bringing awareness and more intentional focus. You can control where your focus goes more than you think but you have to slow down, which is hard for many of us.

I think our society is built for things to move fast. We have fast cars, computers, and technology and we feel compelled to keep up. But I have started to not give into it anymore and it has done wonders for my mental health. In my personal life, I am wanting to practice pausing before responding or saying yes as I have overextended myself multiple times in the past. I have started to ‘unsubscribe’ from more emails that I constantly delete and turn off notifications for certain apps to cut down on distractions. I have almost put a time limit on my social media app on my phone as I can surely find something else to do after 2 hours already. I have done this in the hopes of creating more and becoming less of a consumer and spender and more a creator and giver. And I don’t mean in money or life. I don’t want my focus to be on making money so with everything going up I have considered incorporating more of the minimalist style into my life. I am often overwhelmed by the number of decisions I make in a day and I feel like that will help combat that. I am starting with going through everything I have and getting rid of more things I do not use.

Being sick requires me to slow down because my body is weak and it allows me to reset and realize what I enjoy in life are small things. Having tea in the morning, laying around watching tv or reading on the couch, snoozing in-between, listening to music and writing or eating some warm soup. I am not a nap person at all except when I am sick, which is usually when I can tell I am not feeling well. When I find myself trying to fit in with society’s timeline, I have to remind myself how I don’t want to fit into society’s box anymore like when I was a kid. That is when I dig down and find my teenage rebellious attitude to help push me to change and do things differently. Maybe listen to some Avril Lavigne, ‘Anything but Ordinary’ and remind myself who I am. Sometimes you have to convert pain to purpose and use that injustice and anger you feel to fuel your passion for change to do better. I can slow down and still be productive, happy, and moving forward. Why is it only when we are sick that we allow ourselves to slow down and enjoy the small things more?

I think sometimes I can get so caught up in the hustle of life and lose myself a bit and that is why quiet moments to myself in meditation are really good to remind yourself of who you are and come back to yourself. Being still is almost like a rebellion in a way. We are more productive and contributors (money wise) to society if we are moving fast then doing the opposite is like a slap in the face. You notice more and question a lot more when you go slow. It makes it harder for others to pull something on you if you are not in a rush. I have a hard time slowing down still. When I am going somewhere, I am on a mission. I want to go, not wait around so I end up rushing to get places all the time. I know it stresses me out and others, which only makes the process more frustrating than it should be and often leads to misunderstandings and miscommunication. If I am really excited about something I might start to rush into it and have to tell myself to stop and not get ahead of myself. It is always a work in progress!

I would always walk really fast in the hallways at school because I was trying to get to my next class; I didn’t consider it ‘social time’ like some people did. It drove me nuts when people would just stand in hallway, blocking the hallways when we only had a limited time to get to our next class. Now I have to consciously slow down when I walk because I have a tendency to walk really fast and it takes away from the experience. The whole point of taking a walk is to enjoy the time out from four walls in the open air and if you are mentally not present then you will miss the trees, plants, and wildlife and it’s like you didn’t take a walk at all. Everything just goes by in one big blur.

Cats are a reminder to slow down and stay present. You don’t want to run up on a cat if you want to pet, as exciting as seeing a one is. My cat Lissa was abandoned on the streets by her mother too young when the shelter found her. Who knows what all she experienced before the shelter got her. The Russian Blue we wanted to get was adopted already but she just came in and had a flea bath before we got there so she was wrapped up in a warm towel. She has always been really delicate. She will not tolerate really rough pets or anything too crazy so if you want to pet her you have to go at her pace. And she always wants to sniff your hand before you are allowed to pet her. Cats can be a lesson in consent in that way.

This year I bought a cat tarot deck called Soul Cats (my first one featuring cats) which I used for the first time recently. Usually, each card deck comes with a booklet that is an introduction to the cards and what each one means. How you do it is up to you but for me I like to keep it simple and usually just spread all the cards out in front of me and blindly choose one or more or use one in the booklet. I shuffled the cards and decided to pull 3 which told me to allow others to help so I can relax, to go with the flow, and enjoy the ride of daily life, in summary. The card about going with the flow was upside down while the others were not. 

In the guidebook it says upside down cards are meant as a sign for protection, which there is a separate section for that in each card description. For this one it says to be aware of what I am feeling right now so I do not get caught up in the undertow, which is very good advice for me. The last is the Queen of Wands which was about how light and dark exist as one and they switch places sometimes but it’s a part of life. The great circle of life. Which can be equated to the changing of the seasons, at least in my mind.

Speaking of changes, I always thought of myself as more of a dog person but the older I get the more I vibe with cats. It would be so much fun to be one. We share the same qualities. I usually keep to myself, highly independent, I hide away from strangers, graceful yet very clumsy, can be vocal but rarely, selective with who I am around or who I open up to. I wonder if there are any others who feel switched over to loving cats more as they got older.

From my post about my grandpa, I mentioned when I was younger finding a mom cat and her 3 kittens at my grandparent’s house that adopted us. That was not the only time that a cat or cats randomly found me. One day I was walking around my neighborhood in 2019 to get out for a bit and this cat came up to me meowing like crazy so I pet it for a minute and start walking off. Then it starts following me and then another one comes out of nowhere. Before I know it there are three of them and then they are walking in front of me like they are trying to show me something (picture). I pet them all and realize they must not have a home so I go back home to let my husband know so we can go get them but by the time we go back out there, they are gone. A neighbor eventually told us whoever moved out of the house left them but they are being fed and taken care of so we dropped it. I couldn’t believe they just appeared out of nowhere and kept following me. Crazy.

Cut to September 2020 in Colorado. The place we are staying at is in a small town and the hotel is like a lodge cabin with no AC so I made myself something warm for breakfast and sat outside. One morning a black cat joined me and sat in the bench next to me while I read and ate my breakfast. I took this as a good sign for the trip. That same black cat later on in the evening started to act like a stray so we let it come inside our cabin with us overnight, since it was so cold we didn’t want it to freeze. When we went to bring it up to the front office it turned out the owners already knew about the cat and is a regular around the premises so we got fooled by the office cat. We had no idea. There was even a second one we saw up there. We thought we had ended up with another cat to bring home. I was kind of glad we didn’t but what a story that would be. It also happened to be a black cat which we ended up getting our own black cat a year later in 2021 (see blog post Spooky Boy ), which I don’t think is a coincidence. I want them all now.

Slowing down you realize how much energy everything takes and how it is not an unlimited resource. After 2020 I no longer want to rush around or stress for money, which is what the world seems to run on.  If I have to do without for the sake of ease of mind then I will. I have found myself stuck often because planning for the future has too many unknown variables and it’s too overwhelming to plan anything but then I start feeling like I am never moving forward. When life feels out of balance that is when it is the best time to be still and meditate. When life feels heavy that’s when it is time to slow down and appreciate the small things around you.

Slow down

Let me be still with you

Still with me ~ Seven Lions

Cats are so entertaining and bring so much joy in my life. I love to randomly run into a cat. You have to be patient and let them come to you if they are a new cat and not used to you. And even some cats you know. Every cat is different. Best bet is always slow and steady, maybe with treats if you are prepared. It was weird not finding any cats randomly on my last trip out of state. I was very much missing petting and being around cats while gone. There was a small dog but they are different. Our cat would fight a bear but this dog is scared of flies. Regular house flies he runs and hides. Everything scares him and never understands what is going on, poor thing. I usually do not like little dogs at all but he is tolerable. I can see why some little dogs get little dog syndrome- they had to in order to survive. There is no way this dog could survive out in the wild. There is no comparing a small dog to cat. There is just something very zen to me about a cat that I don’t get the same vibe with a dog.

Having animals makes me appreciate the small things in life because time with them goes by so fast and can be up at any moment as their lives are so much shorter than ours. They are only alive for a part of our lives but we are all they have. Slowing down and enjoying being at home with them you learn to appreciate the little moments of giving them treats or the noises they make while sleeping. Ah I love their tiny little sleep noises. Sirius, the black cat, if he wakes up in the middle of a nap he will groan, like a human does when a loud noise wakes them up. And he will drag it out too, it is not a quick grown. The way he does it, it is almost like he is giving attitude back, which is adorable. They have so much personality. I don’t understand how an animal can be so cute yet so fierce and chaotic.

Being still allows you to regroup and gather your thoughts. Being still allows you to look out for yourself and not impulsively say or do something you will later regret. Everything is going up in price and the news gets me down lately so sometimes it is hard to stay positive but today it was nice outside enough for Lissa to join me. In those moments watching her outside, I am able to be still for a second and just observe her exploring the outside and wonder what she is doing. Sometimes she will lay down on the porch, dirt and all, and rub herself on the ground, which my guess was she smells squirrels or something. But who knows, she is a strange cat. 

Having a cat now I could not imagine living without one. I used to believe an old stigma about boy cats not using the litter box but it’s the girl cats that have had the most issue. In my experience, girl dogs and cats have been the problem children more often than not so don’t totally disregard male animals. Sirius is the sweetest boy, though also can be a huge pest. More often than not it is the boy cats that are super lovey and will get in your lap.

Staying present is not easy when there is so much to think about. But the really great thing about cats is that they have clever and funny ways of bringing your awareness back to the present. Lissa will sometimes shove her face into my hand if I am not petting her, which I take as a gentle nudge to be here in this moment. She is trying to tell me ‘Hey Mom, time to stop and check in with yourself’. Or they will find the most random things to play with and get fixated on, no matter how many ‘cat toys’ you have laying around. Even trash! Sirius likes to help remind us we need to vacuum the carpet. 

That is how they also remind you to enjoy what you already have (even if it is junk)- there is often no need to buy ‘new’ things, which is another thing I want to incorporate into my life to cut spending and waste. I tend to get fixated on the bigger picture and forget there are little things I can change and do in my own life that can make a big difference, I just have to implement them. My issue is I either overthink myself out of doing it or rush into things and get overwhelmed then I just avoid it. I have a bad habit of talking about doing something but not actually doing it and I intend to change that.

Once you get in the habit of rushing and rushing it is really hard to get out of that and relax. Slowing down allows you to notice ways to be more intentional with how you spend your time. Mornings growing up were always a hassle and frustrating so getting out of that habit has been hard but finding a few minutes to be still in the morning before I go to work helps so much. It is easier to speed up after going slow then to slow down after going fast. Falling back into hustle culture is so easy for me. I want everything to go faster than it is going and be inhumanly fast like technology. But everything has its own timeline and pace. Rushing the timeline only leads to regret and mistakes.