Witch

It was not a conscious decision I had one day that I am now non-religious. My life just headed in that direction. After a panic attack in 2020 my anxiety got really bad so I made a space in our house called the Reset Room where I go to do art, my nails, meditate, or anything I need to reset. Before I knew it, I had made an altar without even realizing what it was yet. I didn’t really pay attention too much to the small details or definitions like what an ‘alter’ was but figured out through social media. I started out with rocks I had collected from hiking/other trips on a bookshelf, including a few personal items regarding my grandpa who passed as a place to go and think of him. I had always been a little weird with picking up pretty rocks when I was younger so that was not a new thing for me (I had a rock collection and everything!). Now instead of just regular rocks, I have added crystals of many different shapes and colors too. Then I added tiny pines cones, feathers, etc. to bring nature inside.  

Although not strict, my family was very religious growing up and I felt pressure to follow their beliefs. I found a home video of my very first bible I got as a present and child me was like SO happy about it. I don’t remember that at all. But I do remember going to church on Sundays. They had a separate space for my age group but most of the time I joined my family instead. Not for the sermon, because it was boring, but because it was more comfortable for me to be around adults. Being an only child, I had spent much more time around adults than kids.

Reflecting back, I don’t think I was ever a true believer. I didn’t really understand it and remember thinking once when I was younger I was going to test out if God was real, which you shouldn’t have to do if you are true believer. Before I got on medication in 2020 I tried learning about Buddhism hoping it would help with my depression. While it did resonate with me, I still needed to get on medication and am glad it did. One book I highly recommend is Buddhist Bootcamp by Timber Hawkeye (I know, withhold judgement). He really explains it in a very human way and I really vibed with it after my panic attack. Even if you are not into Buddhism necessarily and just want to learn how to be a better human, check it out. I also really liked his other books and found his story is really interesting.

I heard someone on social media refer to witchy stuff as ‘spicy psychology’ and I think it is perfect. After losing my religion (thank you REM, 1991) and several deaths I was feeling lost and needed something to focus on. My issue was that I did not want to ‘worship’ anyone or anything and wanted to stay away from anything close to organized religion but I also really need the routine and guidance that organized religion has. Essentially, I wanted to create a routine around self-care with something I can focus on but also to give me perspective. I decided to learn all I could about Paganism, Druidry, and all other types of spirituality. It has been really interesting to learn about it all and with patience and a lot of reading I stopped feeling as lost. That is why I started to learn more about plants and growing things in 2021. It gave me something to focus on to get me out of my head. Now during the hot summer days, it gets me outside to water or check up on them, several times now since it is so hot. I guess that is one positive of global warming? Unless you are rich, you will have to get outside to grow plants and food to stay sane.

One major thing I have learned is that things are always changing and it’s the only thing you can count on. I realized a pattern with many beliefs in focusing on trying to figure out what will happen in the future, with the yearly zodiac calendar, change of the seasons, and weather. We are so obsessed with knowing what the weather is going to do you can make a career out of predicting it. I like knowing what will happen just as anyone else, but I also really love the small unexpected coincidences that life brings. 

I think many people would rather be scared of something than actually learn about it to silence those fears. I do not actually think I am witch (nor do I refer to myself as one) and I hope no one else thinks that either. It is easy to overthink spirituality and get caught up in the aesthetics- I admit to buying too many card decks and books, though I regret nothing. What I learned is that, kind of like the healing process, it can be however complicated or involved as you want to be. You decide how serious you want to take it and get to set the pace but still have to make the time for it. My personal beliefs have changed over the years to focus more on a belief in nature and self. It comes back to trusting the process and not getting fixated on just part of the process.

I was lost and
I'm still lost but
I feel so much better

~Just Be by Tiesto

My personal favorites:

1. Cards, journals anything by Dreamy Moons is beautiful. She takes care to package everything beautifully and is worth every penny. 

2. Manifestation Cards by Spirit Daughter 

3. Plant Witchery by Juliet Diaz